Thursday, December 31, 2009

A baby named Nouvelle année


"At this hour a baby is born,
To grow from innocent soil.
To harvest dreams that once layed lost
yearning for the lights arrival.
"The powers within in you,"
whispers Father time.
As he mends the broken clocks.
Though backwards they are ticking
Forward through time,
they are just beginning.
A fresh count of the ticks & tocks"
*~SFD ©2009


Good bye 2009. You weren't just a year you were a chapter in my life.
Good morning 2010! I'm ready for this chapter to begin.
I'm frightened but so excited. Starting a new year is like gazing into the sky. You never really now whats out there, or whats coming. Things are happening just as they should. I put my faith in the year. To bring fortune to me that I can share with all of you. Let love/light be that treasure. This year my resolutions are secret. & will be something I work for on a daily basis. I hope truly you recieve whatever it is your heart desires to work for. You can have it all!

You can do nothing but make this Sunflower proud.
I am an Aquarius, well in love with you.


I can see the fireworks in your eyes. I hope this year explodes into your soul with flames of happiness and hope.

You deserve to be loved.
You deserve to love.
How privleged we are to be here on Mother Earth at this time.

Cheers! Let the 2010 begin Rockin'!!!



Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Take Matrimony

Hark! The herald havoc sings
Myself to sleep
Lead my army to harmony
& still i dream of castles and fields
Cross the bridge to the ancient lake,
The mother comes warning

Down through the valley of desolation
the vulture leads us to the oasis of time

Lord of God
Take my heart
My hand
& Faith
Let them serve you
Lead me to the fiery estate of Satan's chamber
I will make peace with the demons in me

For all, even the shadows
is the light in me

In death I do wed the stars
In death we never part

Take the love in me
I wed thee to this light
I wed the to the waves of the eternal sea

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Disconnected monster.

Flowing like a river
Rising like the dawn
I have found the babe wrapped in the world's sin

Emotions lead me to a virginal, vigilant state of mind

For reasons that need not be defined
I linger in the saddest shadows
Survived, Thanks owed, only to the light in your heart
The light in mine

I walk through the maze
Downing every daze that someone throws my way.

They then call me crazy.
They give me drugs over the counter and I take them.

Bow down!
Bow down!?

No! I won't.

The sky is like this mirror
There, constantly, dwells our reflection

The ground gets further and further
away from our true soaring purpose
that lays slaughtered in a field of purple flowers

The will dissapears into oblivion
Only to encourage us to get up and go

Words always find a way to fall short of what you want them to say.

I think not.
Can I be myself with out ridicule?

Aren't we all the same?

Is there a wall that divides us all?

Searching for the answer that exsisted before the question was made.

I stand as tall as I can.
Low enough to see the tourment, we tortue ourselves with.

Disconnected monsters.

Stop the war before it has a chance to begin.

Warriors in an advanced state.

PeaceMakers be sure your peace gets made.

Turn the switch of insecurity
Illuminate your true priority

Look for the mordancy in their promises.

The snake eyes overpowering virtue.

Wake up.

Taste the stars.
Bring them inside yourself.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Dancing Dead Heads.

People are always offering me acid. I'm not sure I like those drugs that make you trip, trip, TRIP. My experiances with psychedelic drugs haven't always been the best. At the same time they haven't always been the worst. Sometimes the visuals I get are quite spectacular. Then the problem is, after flying so high it is reality that disturbs me.

My experiances in nature both sober and "High" has saved my life. Realizing that you are never divided from earth and the spirit, is life changing. & I can't forget to mention the blessing of technology.

But why do hallucinogens?

Are we trying to force our minds to expand? Do we feel like its the only way to venture into the great unknown?
Or are we wishing to escape?

I'm not condoning drug use. I just wish I could live in the world my heart sees. Where you can see the forest breathing. Where the sun kisses you, even while you sit in the shade. Where you walk with exotic animals, & your favorite music is always playing.

I believe in the magic of this earth & the cosmos.
I'm working on making it a reality not a prescription.


Thats the one thing I love about this fucking life. Is that you really have the ability to be YOU. And that YOU is beautiful.

So don't lick the stamp, unless you really feel the need to.


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Cant you see me when I hide?

Come inside the cave
Lets get lost together
O' what fun we'll have
Always by side by side
At different times of never & always tonight



The cliff has rocky walls
I'll catch you when you fall

Desolated in your soul
I think I can find my way
In the dessert your heart calls home

The dessert that,
Quenching my exsistance,
Hushes my fears

The dessert that makes the ocean look dry
& the water feel sandy






....Ah, __, Me, ___, ME, Om, __,Om.

Fill in the blanks the song is over.

Once, Obscured
Twice, Twisted
Third, is Quite the charming Bird!

Is it all I've ever wanted?
To be faded.
I guess not.

With Sepia toned sunshine I quote the light of the stars.
With Razor toned moon-Lune I breathe the colors of tunes.

Is it all you ever wanted.
To be faded.
I guess not.

Isn't alteration always changing.
I can hear all your feeling.
Can you feel all I Hear?

Dug in
Stretched out
Sunk into love with you

Swallowed the years
Carved the tally to my skin
Fell into hate with you

There are endless fields of stars waiting for us.

Lu Me

A somber light hides in the process of life
My heart in a cycle I cannot break
This love from above
a cosmic routinue I cannot shake
the tides on the bible fight
Page by page I find guidance
In the electrifying silence
Why don't I believe in me?
I suffer with every joy
I suffer with each despair
On a contstant crux of the divine
This torturing beauty of being human
This fluctuating taste of happiness
I don't want to die alone cries the raven
I don't want to live alone cries the dove
This awful fixation of the lovers
Won't you be the one to save me?
"no, no. Only you can save yourself."
Aren't you the one to finally break me?
"no, no. Only you can destroy yourself."
Lies are the smoothe bars I entrust to protect my heart
But I still bleed through to you
No matter what I do
I want to run back through time
Back through time
As I do I'm going to point and laugh at my past
Far away to the beginning of it all
I'll pause and rewrite everything on my walk back

My days don't value correlation.

I get so angry with god sometimes. This is part of our relationship though. God knows this, I can tell when he winks at me. The reason I get so upset is because I often feel very lonely, what tears me apart further is myself really not caring, that I am surely quite "alone." He knows I can handle myself thus far.

Still there always seems to be this void I aim to fill. Perhaps I should just accept "The Unknown" as an Infallible Law. Come to terms with the possibility that it might be the void in me that in fact makes me whole.

I know that we are never detached from Earth and our higher power. I give my heart over to that current. However, I catch myself becoming lazier and lazier as I allow my blind faith to lead me forward. You know? If I am a moth to the flame, Shall it be Lord? So shall it be. All I'm getting at here in this moment, is that blind faith musn't stand and lead alone. We must fire it with logical action & filter out the greedy tar that we've come to believe is a part of us.

What tar do I have in me? Perhaps my "let it be" attitude towards life. Rarely do I ever apologize for who I am, unless who I am hurt someone. Even then I make it quite clear that Its just the way I am percieving life. I don't make any effort to contact interesting aquaintances because I believe we will run into eachother if we are meant to exchange company again. Its not that I don't care, REALLY! I just love every one on one universal level and my weeks would be to fucking busy to chat over tea with them all. So my close friends are few to none.

I've been studying myself through the eyes of others lately. Not always the best thing to do, but definately eye opening. At the end of the day I try to remember that its important for me to be happy with myself. That is entirely impossible to do if you try to please the world let alone every person on your path. I've discovered that some think I'm two faced and flaky. I'm not. I can see why they'd think so. How can I possibly get along with someone that doesn't believe in god, & then get along just the same with a die hard member of the LDS church? How can I talk with a methe-head, then have the same conversation with some one that never touched drugs in there life? Some one was peering into my personality, and explained to me that this can't be possible. In order to make friends and love certain people you have to make enemies and use some of your energy to hate on them. Its part of life, was her reasoning. You can call me a two-faced-cornflake all you want but it won't zoom me in. I prefer to stay zoomed fully out, gazing over the entire picture.

If I am to exort any sort of hateful energy. It will most likely be with the people I "love, Love" The ones I need in my life as long as possible. Before the stars eat us back up. *

As for that nice flaky personality quirk of mine. I don't really enjoy making plans. Especially when people talk up the event too deeply into their heads. I tell this to many, if you'd like to make plans with me, lets think of something to do, and not think about it untill it comes down to doing it. Our imagination can take us on some wild rides. But if we ride the thought of what might happen, before it actually does, reality comes and falls short of our expectation. So automatically, I loose intrest, I fly away to what ever catches my heart and I put forth everything I have for that moment. Past plans all of a sudden don't mean a thing to me. Apparently, I've offended a lot a people because of this. What can I say if you feed my visuals its as if we already took the adventure.

I've never been one to value promises. They seem made just so someone can break them. There is only one promise I'll keep. That promise is love.

Am I writing this for you, me, us or them? Perhaps this is me justifying my ways through blogging.

Who really knows, right?

Perhaps my indesciveness is a personal personality knot I'm to lazy to untie. Does that make me bitter, or cold-hearted? Does that prove that I am unwilling?

The way I see it is, why make descions with my mind? I'd much rather follow my heart. There is only one way home. One way to you.